Not so much a learning curve as an uphill struggle

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I found out this week what happens when I don't excersise.
General worry and chaos followed by lack of motivation and a few diet slip ups.

I got it all out overnight and got back into my routine . I'm trying to get back to my bike and I'm having a gym induction on Thursday.

This week at Uni I've been mic-ing up, recording and singing. I've also been trying to get to grips with some computer software.

I am determined to get to grips with it so I'm able to use it quickly.

The mum stuff has been a bit full on . Spiderman has had a couple of stressful days at school. He was throwing pens across a class room , had a bit of an argument with a boy in his class then had a nosebleed on the same day.
The next day he went back and fell again , this time cutting his head and I had to take him to the local minor injuries dept.

On Tuesday night my oldest and best friend came into Hull for the night. We ate we drank and giggled - magic .

So now is half term. So this means a visit from my mum and me being able to cook yummy meals for the family.
This will be the first time I've seen her since having all the therapy I've had.
Mostly addressing the amount of issues that arose from my childhood.

I don't blame my parents and i certainly don't hate them both. I don't know if I'd be the woman I am today without that experience.

But that woman is also stubborn and feels unable to ask for help which in a Uni class aint good is it.
So even after all the talking I've done to be a woman I can like , the past is still getting in the way.

Part of me is still the little fat girl that felt no one listened to her.

The difference now is that I know that I need to swallow my pride and ask for help.

I'm not stubborn enough to fail my degree ..........

Did ya miss me ??

Well the weekly blog stuff went well ?

Over the past two weeks I've been away I've written and submitted my first assignment . Had my childcare situation fall apart and then rebuilt by me , and realised just how much extra work I need to do to have a chance of not failing one of my modules.

As well as all the washing cleaning (ish!!) shopping and general day to day wife/mum stuff.

So the assignment was an essay. 2000 words on the Theory of Popular music submitted via turnitin.
I made a million notes from books and got quotes from everywhere and typed up over a few nights.

Spiderman was poorly as I typing so I had to stop clear up sick and then carry on - Lovely .
I aimed to get 400 words done a night.
I took it section by section . I got into the lesson the day before our deadline to find a few students hadn't been as organised as i was .

Also that day was band practice. I struggled with the first line of my song . Basically I didn't know it and it showed !
Not a mistake I'm willing to make again !

The childcare thing - It all fell apart. I spent most of one morning with my phone attached to my ear looking for a childminder who was able to pick him up from school that evening.

This was also the week of Parents evening . This was after school and we'd had no notice. None of us were available to go.
But due to the childcare situation I had to come home from lessons early anyways.

Spidermans teacher was less than impressed that I was unable to drop everything at a moments notice.

Not a happy bunny that day. My head was all over the place and the one thing I do when the shit hits the fan

EAT ..................

So the other issue of these past weeks is a module I desperately want to understand but at the moment don't make a lot of sense.
Rather than ask in class like a normal person might, I wait till I leave get upset and text my mate.
Then contemplate emailing my teacher.

I did email in the end , he encourages me to speak up in class. I'm not exactly sure why i don't
But it does seem like a good idea ???

Homework

New toy

Lessons to be learned

 I don't do Mondays.
For me the week starts at 11 am on a Tuesday morning with CATS ( Critical and Theoretical studies ) research based )

Musicianship is where we get to rehearse in bands and I get to sing  :-D

We have an A and R type task for one module I have to find a band to promote and a Composition and Arrangement  module .

 This module is about  putting our own tunes together - I have NO idea how to do this
Also there are other people on the course who do.

So this week I have been a little stressed out about it. Usually I would have cried and worried myself sick.

BUT I found myself emailing my tutor , asking what I could do to catch myself up.
He told me so I'm doing it .

I'm learning to read/write/play all at once.

Sounds simple enough !!!??

I found out this week I've managed to lose some weight - 8lbs in total. I had a feeling that something had changed but i didn't now how much ......

I  celebrated with Peanut M & M's and Spidermans Harvest festival.  He was an apple !

Saturday night was a bit of a drama. My mood seemed to plummet so no apparent reason.
This appeared to revolve around an old mate I haven't seen for a while.
It starts as 'He must be busy' finishes as 'OH MY GOD , he HATES me !'

I've learnt to wait till the storm passes to react or I'd have no mates at all.

Sunday was another drama . In the middle of a supermarket Spiderman and I witnessed a man have a fit .
He collapsed right in front of us.
I had to speak to him about it. He seemed ok but you can never really tell can ya ?
As a child my Dad was very unwell so I know how terrifying seeing someone collapse can be for a little one .

We had a little chat while eating strawberries .
It ended with Spiderman telling me he enjoyed being in my belly as a baby

Hopefully I manged to teach him that its ok to express his feeling by telling him about mine.

So time for bath and an early night - I've managed to fit everything in but now it's bed time !!!