Sunday, 23 November 2014

well There better be cake .......................

So tomorrow is my birthday !
I'm planning to open my cards go to the gym and take away for tea. I'm excited already !

The last week has been a bit of a mixed bag - i'm getting used to being uncomfortable .

Monday I went to the gym . I did school run so that was 30 mins  walking . Walked to the gym which was  45 mins walking then the gym session

My PT didn't show this week. I did go earlier than normal but he wasn't around . I'd been under the impression that a personal trainer was meant to keep an eye on your progress.

To be honest I'm not too bothered - it just means that he has NO part in my success .
I've just gotta make sure I push myself to be better.

Uni is busy - I;m working on my own composition. I have melody and lyrics . My chords need looking at but it's mine and I'm doing it all ! SOOOO THRILLING to see it becoming a real song.

  I had my first student rep meeting . Its all very political . There was a guy demanding financial breakdowns of departments to see where his tuition fees go.

Little intimidating tbh. Don't mean I cant be part of it does it ?
At the moment everything is a little intimidating, I'm quite uncomfortable all the time anyways.

The eating has been OK . Last week I felt a bit down but I decided to feel it instead of choosing to medicate myself with food.

My aunty sent me a birthday present I was so excited to get the red 'WE have a parcel for you ! '
It turned out to be a top,   4 sizes too big !

She thinks I'm still huge and refuses to see how hard I've worked to change .
To be honest it felt like a slap in the face . I did email to say the top was too big only to have her 'explain ' to be the style of the top was meant to be baggy and she didn't have the receipt.

The period in my life when i was that size I was miserable depressed and suicidal. I don't want to be reminded of it.

So now for the fun stuff Newcastle !!!
On Friday my hubbie and i got on train to  party city  .We had champagne cocktails ,stayed in posh hotels. I even brought a leather skirt.
We popped into the best independent record shop in town and explore the sheets till home time .
Perfect 24 hours

So I've got this friend....... I do worry about them.

 I'm having to exercise so much restraint with them  , i don't do this well ............  They want to keep whats going on to themselves.
And I'm stopping myself from sending a million 'How are you feeling ?' text and try to keep the stalking to a minimum .

I am aware that is more my issue than theirs .  I need to get my head round how they want to run their business.

 I still adore them and I know they adore me too :-D

Fingers crossed I'll see them soon and we can laugh and play like we always have.

So tomorrow is my birthday - I'm 32 in my first year of a music degree and I've lost nearly a stone since September. I'm writing my  own material and I feel more complete than I've ever felt due to the changes I've made.

Not bad for a fat lass .....................

 

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