No time to relax ...............

So it's the first day of my littleman's holiday and he's already out side on the neighbours trampoline.
It took me 20 mins to realise I was still watching Wallykazam !!!

So this week has mostly been about finding stuff to do during the long holidays and a little bit to do with forging new relationships.

Lately i've been concerned about the holidays as its a lot of time to fill for me and the family
My son is in the process of being tested for Aspergers Syndrome.
So seven weeks of unstructured play/fun is almost too much for him to bear.
He asked for a timetable so he has some idea of what is going on.

I gotta admit , I understand the concern - I'd got used to the routine of taking him to school , having assignments to do going to lessons and taking the steps to become what i'd always dreamed of.

Whatever that is !!!!??????

To eeeerrrr NOTHING

This new me type person is full of ideas and passion so if i'm not busy with something the fear is that i slip back into where i was.
If you didn't know me you'd mistake it for ruthless ambition or think i was bossy and single minded.
But i'm messing the support of the routine and that is where the drive comes from.

I didn't come this far to only come this far.

So this week I've been getting the ball rolling on a few things. First I've been looking for a guitarist for ages so i might have found one.
So i sent him my stuff to see what he thought.

My songs are always very personal to me so being able to let them go to someone else felt like a huge deal.
I had a bit of a panic and freaked out at my friend but did it anways.

So with sending the lyrics I had to give this guitarist an idea of what I wanted.
It felt incredibly weird to explain what I hear in my head to someone else. I had to be direct and  as specific as i could so he knows where I'm coming from and where I'm going.

I'm not used to giving direction - it felt a very grown up thing to do. It makes everything feel very real.
It also felt very empowering and i felt capable , which is almost as strange as sending letting my lyrics go.

Its a massive step in the right direction for me.

The next news - We definitely have another Mannequins show in October so  I'm on the lookout for a  Halloween type outfit and track to match even on a sunny warm day like today !

I received lots of amazing feedback from my performance.
I was told i looked relaxed and strong.
I've never thought of myself as a performer in that way so it was good to hear it looked as good as it felt.

So me being me - it's given me 'permission' to be bigger and bolder.  It seems to work
I mean , EVERYONE loves Beyonce don't they  ???

Maybe i should get so big sparkly pants ????

So the next thing has been a catching up with a guy I haven't seen in a while. It was basically what have you been up to type thing.
With all the meetings different people i'm getting a clearer idea of what kind of artist I want to be and what i DONT .

Everyone I'm connected to ,artistically, adds their input. Some i take seriously so I think I need to keep the hell away from . LOL

Then the weekend ...................   MH being the main feature in the house. Kicking my arse all over the place.
 There needs to be some changes.

This time round I held on for as long as i could but in the end thought it best to mention it to a mate for their input......................
Usually the input consists of 'sort yourself out !'

Such a charmer ;-)    

LMAO
Love my mates