No , littleman my keys are NOT in the fridge..................

So this is the first week of the holidays with my 6 yr old. He wants to be attached to me most of the time.

The incident in question was after a nice morning swimming, a peaceful lunch and a few in house games.
The little one decided it was time to play in the garden.

My naughty keys had gone and I was about to go into full on panic mode.

No one has our key and hubbie at work till late

Then the question - Have you checked the fridge Mummy ?

Believe me , this could have sent me either way

Its been that kind of week - I've not felt the best.

I've sorta gone from having a huge circle of mates with uni, then a smaller circle with meetings and adult conversation to  , well  ........have you checked the fridge ?

It took me sooo long to learn to do the student thing , then to learn to do the networking thing so now
I'm watching endless episodes of cartoons.

I'm sure they only made about 4 eps - cos it seems to be the same stories all the time. I am learning all the pups on Paw Patrol - Littleman seems impressed.

In all this I've tried , I am trying to keep myself moving forward music wise - I answered my first casting call , wrote some lyrics - I saw a picture of myself in that red dress with the behive hair - I wondered what 'SHE' would write about

Turns out , it's seducing men into hotel rooms - Who knew ????

For me to write , I have to feel restless - The words have to fight their way out.
I sorta see them in my head and then HAVE to write them down or lose them forever.

Missed words/verses haunt me 'cos in my head they were epic lyrics that would have changed the world if only i could remember them .................

My head gets filled with words and quotes so i'm usually watching people i meet to see if their lives are interesting enough to write about.

I do write about mine too - Loads
About the people I meet and how i feel about them - good and bad !

Recently I've been missing people - the people I really love are far away from me - friends wise .

We do keep in touch by email but for me it doesn't really replace giving your best mate a squeeze.
And because I've just come though puberty and this crazy woman is new to me , I've been a bit upset at pics.
Bizarre, I know - it's not enough that this character I've created is strong passionate and confident the other side of that is sometimes other, darker sensitivities.

Once in a while , it gets too much and I shut the doors and stay in to recover.
All i do is eat good food try to excersise and keep my fingers busy till it passes.

My house has never been so tidy .....................
My head is silly

Oh, and just in case you were wondering , They weren't in the fridge ..........................

BOO ! Did ya miss me ???

So I guess this is a catch up post . The last couple of weeks at uni had been the busiest so far.
Mixed in with the prep for Christmas it drove me to the edge of sanity !

In the last week I had 2 assignments due both with 10 min power point's and one i'd already submitted to present to our group.
As well as a group performance that was assessed and then a rehearsal for a new band .

I reacted in my usual panic mode . I had lists on top of lists so everything was done in time.
But in the end it was ......................

I GOT IT ALL IN !!

This is amazing for me - Usually I give up trying because the task is so huge but this time it's different.

There's so many thing just fit better with this new situation. I'm definitely in a better position now than this time last year.

So the gig was amazing - We worked so well as a unit !
Loads of people in the crowd congratulated me on being great. I even got loads of friend requests and inbox messages from people offering me all sorts.

Some good , some not so good. LOL
This new band opportunity came as a result of the gig. Now I'm off to rehearse with a load of 3rd years.

EEEEEEEEEKKKKK Scary cos they all know so much more about everything than i do - I know I'm good at what I do but it's all a very steep learning curve.

Also this means more time away from the home - we rehearse on a night once a fortnight so I miss putting spiderman to bed that night. It's not a huge thing but as a mum you always worry about spending time away from them.

The diet is going ok i think - with all the stress I've been dealing with the eating has been a little - ahem - erratic !  

I've still been hitting the gym to balance it out.

Then it was Christmas - I cooked, I ate, I drank .

Then I felt shit so I stopped .

So here we are all up to date. I have a few Thanks and pics to post so will get right on that !!

Bye darlings xxx

Where your mind goes your body will follow ?

Fortune cookie or actually the most useful piece of advice you'll ever hear ?

This week has definitely been about change.

 More specifically about smaller steps to make bigger changes.

Its a skill I'm gaining - I'm usually not the most patient of people.  As I'm sure my mates will tell ya !

With a lot of the changes I'm making the key seems to a small amount of effort everyday will produce the best results.

How did this pass me by before ?????

I've managed to get Spiderman  to school on time and arrange for him to be picked up by his friends mum.   I've not lost him , not left him anywhere . (touch wood)

 In fact we've all survived my first week.

I've managed to eat better than I ever have  - without too many slip-ups.    ......................CAKE ................

And a MEAL OUT WITH BOOZE .  

But all I did after was get straight back to my plan.

I've never been this focused before - to be honest it's a little unsettling !

It's amazing to think that the promise of a degree and networking opportunities, has worked better than all the body shaming, ridicule and good natured, but ever so slightly interfering, advice I've endured throughout my life.

The more I think about my current situation the more intertwined the threads seem to be.

My anxiety has been under control but to be honest I'd anticipated more of it - strange I know .

Usually a room full of strangers and  "Tell us a little bit about you ."game would cause a pretty major upset.
I have to admit, I did wonder what on earth i was going to wear the first day.

But because I'd been looking forward to starting and have been so positive about the future , I've managed to stop it before it starts.

This is MONUMENTAL for me.


Finally a grown up ? How did that happen ?